Jul 25, 2016

mapping a politics of queer pride and shame


This post is a note-taking.

Sam Orchard put a call out through DPSN (diversity promotion through social networking) - for folks to talk about what pride means to them. I did some mapping of thoughts in response.

DPSN pride-vlog


I am interested in the affectivity of shame, and the politics of shame in performance and performance making.

How might gay shame and somatic practices come together in a performance context? 
Can talking about shame and pride open up a discussion around queer and trans bodies, and the realities of living every day as visibly (or invisibly) queer, trans and/or gender diverse?

Are queer bodies seen to be unworthy, unproductive bodies?
- guilty for not conforming to norms?
- rejected, ostracised bodies?
Who decides who/ and what is worthy of love?

Why is 'pride' valued by mainstream LGBTQI culture? Why is pride acceptable, but shame so abhorrent?

WE ARE WHO WE SAY WE ARE! 
why identities are so important to queer communities? 
a necessary move in revaluing bodies, expressions and sexualities that are deemed wrong, not normal, dirty or shameful.

Unvalued/valued feelings
-depression
-shame
-fear
vs
-courage
-brave
-positivity

Standards of success & Failure
-Why is there such a huge stigma around shame? Are we afraid of feeling ashamed?

Brush it under the carpet, where it cannot be seen/felt.
Reclaiming the strength and power of SHAME in a performance context.
Seeing and being seen in a state of feeling ASHAMED - affective flows between performers/audience.

What do I feel proud of?
-proud of who we are?
-proud of what we do/achieve?
-proud of non-productivity? doing nothing? 
-proud of listening to my body?
-proud of respecting my boundaries?
-when i take risks, and challenge myself to do things that feel uncomfortable?
-proud of doing things that make me feel good about myself?

Not Proud - what is that?
-feeling ashamed, hateful, judging as bad/not good?

Gay Shame
-consumerism and capitalist culture...
-what does a Pride parade stand for with its consumerist aesthetics? 
-how does racism play a part?
-how are big businesses valued over queer activism & politics?

Secrets & Shame
-feeling like a BAD person

Pride feels like:
-warm fuzzies
-loving, embracing, supportive
-smiling and caring
-little explosions of love from the chest

Making friends with shame
-taking the power out of it
-EMPATHIZING WITH resistance, judgement, tension, blocking